She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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