my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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