you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize