all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
