I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
