this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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