she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
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my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
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Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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