He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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