accomplished twins. life is a go
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
What a dumb baby whore.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
