Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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