he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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