our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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