this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
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