He is such a slut. More and more my type.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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