I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This beer is not sobering me up at all
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
This is classic penis vs brain.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize