Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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