Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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