We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
