how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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