Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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