i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
