Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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