Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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