drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
