woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
