She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
