Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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