how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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