Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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