Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
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He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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