I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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