You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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