My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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