I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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