I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize