Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
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