I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
