can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
