all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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