How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
