moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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