My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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