It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
