White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
