You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
