She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
