Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
