HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
