I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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