You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
