i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
