I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
