you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
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Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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