i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Randomize
