My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
