Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
