so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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