im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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