i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
My bed smells like the plague
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
