What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
